It's working! It's working! It's working!!!!

So…a few nights ago I was alone in my room, fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit (or something to that effect), and having a great time too. I was, say, 20 minutes into it, and planning on keeping it up for at least another 45. I was getting tons of revelation on stuff, and for once I was actually feeling somewhat tenderized to what the Lord was saying. To top it all off, there was new music playing in the laptop and I was typing up all that nice revelation as it came. It was the best quiet time I’d had in quite awhile.

And then Emily knocked on the door.

Just so you know, I absolutely dread intrusions. Generally someone is asking something of me after I’ve made it clear I just want to be left alone, and generally I’m unreasonably reluctant to give in to their demands. Sometimes they’re just dropping in to say hi, but whatever the reason, interruptions of that nature tend to be the end of a decent prayer time. I rarely can get back in the “flow” of things afterwards. I almost always say something or think something not-so-nice, and wind up sinning in some way. And if I don’t actually sin, then I’m highly annoyed and on the verge of it anyway. It’s really a bummer…and it’s all my fault too.

I particularly was dreading a visit from Emily, because she seems to innately know when I’m having an amazing time with Jesus and the computer, and comes to take it away from me. It’s nearly tradition =D. I really should know better than to expect a night without interruptions. But anyways, the situation repeats itself over and over again. She asks, in a slightly demanding tone, I refuse, she asks again, I refuse more firmly and defend my own rights, something along the lines of-- “I had it first and who do you think you are to just walk in and take it?” or worse "I'm using this to get grounded in the knowledge of God and all you're going to do is watch a movie"-- And of course because I’m always the right one *sarcasm*, she gets mad and stomps off and…I win. Yes, I just totally quenched the Spirit, but I won and it’s all her fault for messing with my prayer life, right?

That, in summary, is how it went every time, at least until a couple weeks ago. On that occasion I was again fellowshipping with the Spirit. We said the same things, did the same things, but afterwards I was so convicted that I gave her the laptop after five minutes. I couldn’t take it anymore. It’s a horrible feeling, to overstep the line, to fight too hard for something, and in the process lose what you were originally wanting. So, that was progress, even though I felt terrible and couldn't see it at the time.

But to get back on track....This time our first words were again the same. I allowed myself a flat “No”, hoping maybe she would give up. The sting of the previous encounter was still very fresh in my memory and the sweetness of my prayer time was still lingering, and the combination of the two finally had some impact on my words =D. I literally could not go any farther than that first "no" because it was like an inward shift of values had just taken place, and suddenly absolutely nothing was worth more to me than keeping the communion going on the inside...that was a good feeling. What was even better was knowing that a week, a month, even the day before (in this case, especially the day before), I would've "fleshed out" and gone the other way with things.

As I'm bringing this to its climax I'm realizing that it probably sounds really silly....and several times I almost didn't post it because it seemed kinda stupid....like who else in the world struggles with interruptions to their quiet time? Everyone else is out there having power encounters and I'm over here...learning to keep my mouth shut??? But really, it was extremely encouraging to me-- it's awesome to have specific situations, no matter how small, to be able to pinpoint and say, "See? It works! Three months ago you wouldn't have even thought of doing that!" So I just thought I'd share it anyway....even though I still feel stupid... keep fellowshipping with the Spirit ya'll =D.